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Frustrated with the amount or extreme level of temper tantrums your child is having? Maybe they happen at the grocery store or at the restaurant. Maybe they hit worst at bedtime. Whenever it happens it can be daunting. I will provide a couple of tactics that can divert the energy and reclaim a more gentle child that you know is inside there somewhere.

First and foremost, you need to remember that talking your child through the process is not likely going to work. Very few people, in a full rage (adults and children both) can think straight or use the logical part of their brain to calm down. If adults can’t do it, it is even less likely to happen with children. Their emotions are on fire here. You need to quench that fire if you want the tantrum to stop.

A tactic that will work not only with children but also with adults is the changing of your physiological state. What that means is that you need to change your body posture and your breathing. Try smiling or laughing out loud. Even in the middle of your child screaming. Recall a funny thing your child did within the last few years (I am sure there is at least one thing they did that made you laugh!). Let your body mimic your emotions as you recall happy times. Then you will be in the right mental state to deal with your child.

Once your own emotional state is set for the tantrum (it is always better to be calm in the middle of your child’s tantrums), it is time to move on to your child’s behavior. To change the mood or the emotional state, you need to stop their current line of thinking. Mentally they may be in a loop that is replaying over and over the wrong they feel has been done to them. They are stoking the fire and you need to redirect their mental energies. Interrupt them with questions, games, or something in their environment. Give them a task to do. Give them a sense of responsibility. Get them to do something that changes their physical situation (look up at the clouds, look in the distance and see the color of a sign that is far away, watch a bird that is swooping by). Get them hold their breathe with you (you can breathe through your nose if you want!). Just get their body to change

Great job! You are on your way to a happier shopping trip (or wherever you are when the tantrum happens). Just try and avoid bringing up the tantrum issue that set everything off. It is best to let the emotions calm down a bit more before you go in and educate them on a more appropriate way of expressing their feelings.

Dealing with childrens temper tantrums is never fun. But there are more strategies and systems than listed above. Try this resource too: Contorlling Temper Tantrums